Bite Me

I've discovered a new obsession.  And, since I am ostensibly a 12-year-old girl, this obsession of course revolves around vampires that show up weekly on the CW.  The Vampire Diaries.  Even though we all know that TVD is just a rip off of Twilight which was just a rip off of the Buffy/Angel saga - - I'm still intrigued.

What IS it about these undead men?  They have the ability to kill us in one second, but THESE bad guys are trying to be good.  They keep their bad guy pasts, but are, basically, emasculated - vampirically speaking (a.k.a., eunuch fangs).

Which, of course, makes me think back and realize that these shows, these books, all are just rip offs of an older "chick flick," Jane Eyre.   Jane is intrigued and in love with Edward Rochester - - but he's just too tormented and dangerous  to be with.  That and the same-old, same-old problems women always face with men - -  the crazy, pyromaniac wife in the attic.

Ignoring that for a moment, Jane is only able to be with Edward once he's blind and needs her.  Once he is, for all intents and purposes, emasculated.

Which brings us back to the original question, why are we women attracted to this idea?  A man not being himself.  A man fighting against his own personality and instinct.  How exhausting.  While I truly enjoy these romantic, "you are the only woman in the world for me," star-crossed lovers, I am very happy to come home every night to my easy-going, happy, drama-less husband who doesn't fight his innate personality and every once in a while cracks a very un-Edward-like poop joke.

Because, in the end, these pale, sad, bloodless Romeos would become very trying and annoying after years of eating alone and spending long evenings of "meaningful talks" with no possibility of a laugh-inducing poop joke.